The last date that I had last year brought me to a belief that I can't ever be in a relationship. Yes, I am aware of the usual feel-good thoughts such as "you deserve someone better" yada yada yada but sometimes, it gets tiring in the long run. So after that episode, I turned myself back into productive distraction. I usually tend to re-channel my focus to something I can do better such as taking photos or creating apps for improving my work productivity among others BUT still kept using dating apps with a twist. I don't normally chat/swipe right to people in a relationship because I kinda stereotyped majority of those having partners in dating apps as just looking for sex to get by (based from experience) and I find it empty having connections just for the sake of sex - but this time, I did. So I got to match with someone partnered (let's call him Partnered Guy, 'PG') but in LDR. Not necessarily open but since he's new in town, he's into meeting new friends. We went out for drinks and dinner, followed each other in IG, and remained connected even months later. He's interesting and really laughs at my jokes, plus our professional fields fall under the same domain, only with different approach, that makes him more likeable. If he was single, I would love to know him more and look at chances of dating one day. Though I know he's partnered, so I put on my guard and not to develop more than friends feelings for him.

Fast forward 2020, since I know I don't have a chance with PG, I decided to install Bumble and got to match with a single guy (SG). We're getting along well and had a friendly first date. A few days later, PG raised the idea of meeting again for dinner so I did agree and from there I've learned that he and his partner have broken up because of distance reasons. Honestly, I didn't expect that him opening it up to me since we only met once and most of our discussions are just through texts (whether SMS, IG, etc). I sincerely wanted to console him by spending more time after dinner but since I have something to pick-up that night, we just had drinks, and a short chat about life, and all other things, and ending it up just before I have enough time to get my package. If not only for an earlier appointment for the package pick-up, I would have accompanied him home that night.Out of respect, while I kinda dig PG, I do not want to take advantage of the situation and probably if there's a chance of us dating, maybe I should wait a lil while, while he gets over the breakup. I told myself, nobody wants to be a rebound, and love when you're ready, not if you're lonely.

I still get to hangout with SG after that confession from PG. Of course, I do not want to be in a position juggling between guys, I casually asked SG how does he see the thing going between us. He just said, "no pressure, not really in a rush. I'm just taking my time", so I thought that he might not be serious at all. Or maybe this is just one of the guys who are sweet until sex happens. Status quo, and let things be.

Because of the quarantine, I did not have the chance to go out in any of them for at least 2 months, YET I was able to think over my dating options. While in quarantine, I still talk to both because for PG, he's someone I dig and really thankful him being responsive, even how crazy my antics were. Sometimes, I just ask some random questions, just for the heck of hearing or seeing his responses that makes me giddy at times. SG, on the other hand, is also nice, although he's not as responsive as PG. But when he's in the mood/off days, we really laugh at both wholesome and green jokes. Thinking over, I prefer though going out with PG more (in the long run ) than SG, some for shallow reasons, but also more on the proximity. PG lives closer to where I live and it's easier to go out with him while SG lives 50 miles from me. We matched when he was nearby my location. Professionally, we can discuss ideas and things we could probably collaborate to without trying too hard (at least from how I see). Also, PG and I are both immigrants and SG isn't someone open to the discussion of immigration issues because of MAGA (I just learned later on).

I've asked some of my friends that since I like PG more, I should decide what to do later on with SG, depending on what would be PG's response. If PG isn't open to the idea of dating with me, then probably there's no problem continuing going out with SG. However, if PG is open, what would be the best recourse to say SG that I can still be at friends with him even if we don't go on further dates. It's kinda hard to bet on SG because he's saying he's not in a rush while I am kinda in a stage open already to possibilities.

If PG says okay to date, how would you deal with telling this to SG?