My husband and I have been together for 12 years. I'm 54, and he's 44. For the past two years, we've had sex maybe three times; over the past year, we've had none except for one aborted attempt about a week ago.

There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with my sexual drive; I don't believe there's anything wrong with his. I'm a top, and my husband is a bottom. I would like to have sex more frequently, but things just aren't working out that way.

My husband spends lots of time collecting and cataloging gay porn. I jack-off about 4-5 times a week.

A few months ago, I discovered he has a Tumblr. He posts links to pictures and videos that turn him on. They are not personal in nature. I found the Tumblr by accident when he left his computer logged on, and I happened to glance at the screen; I recognized his profile picture.

Since I didn't know about the Tumblr and he's never mentioned its existence, I 'followed' it using an anonymous Tumblr account of my own. I know that seems like I don't trust him, but after having lived in a sexual desert, the discovery was a little disconcerting especially after I read some of his comments to some of the links.

While never overly oral, when we started our relationship, my husband would give me blowjobs. My dick isn't too long, not more than 7 inches, but it's thick, so he claimed it caused his jaw to hurt if it too long for me to cum. By the way, I love oral, and he loves being fucked.

After looking at some of the pictures showing huge cocks or guys servicing huge cocks and reading my husband's comment, I'm wondering if he's completely honest with me. I began to wonder if he wants to have sex with other men. He's posted comments about wanting to suck and swallow cum and wanting to be pounded by the men shown in some of the pictures. He's even made comments about past sexual experiences that were not with me, although they could have been with previous sexual partners before we became a couple.

Meanwhile, we aren't doing any of the things shown in these pictures. My husband doesn't want an open relationship because I've asked. He's fantasized about it, but, then, so have I.

I love him, and he loves me. Except for the Tumblr issue, I trust him. We are monogamous by choice, and I have no reason to doubt otherwise. I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do to get our sex life back in order.