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How should I respond too 'Well yeah but there's a male equivalent of it too'?
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I was talking with my male friend about gender equality, and when I said that most women live in fear of sexual assault, he was 'Yeah but men get harassed too so honestly it's not only women's problem'

And when I brought up the double standards of women being sex positive being seen as 'sluts' or 'provocative', and that men judging women from how many times they had sex was disgusting, he was said 'Well, women judge men for how much they earn and their height or stuff like that, and men judge women for their looks and purity. It's not really disgusting when both sides are doing the same thing but in slightly different versions. Besides, men feel danger when they accidentally mention their ex in front of their current girlfriend. Isn't it basically the same thing?"

And I went speechless because to me, it felt like he was basically saying 'Yeah but there is a male equivalent to your words so it's not really sexist'

Are his words wrong? Or perhaps do they hold a gem of truth? Can you explain the reason for it too?

edit: thank you all for the detailed responses! I definitely can understand things better now.

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I'm petty so there are quite a few people I message at the end of certain months and time periods to say things such as "hey! Just wanted to let you know, I've seen you complain 5 times this year about women's History month and men never getting awareness, also noticed you didn't mention at all this month that it's men's mental health awareness month. Waited for you to bring it up since it seemed super important." Or I've asked my brother whenever he complained about women's recognition for something and men never getting the same attention "so I've volunteered 6 times during men's MH awareness month, what about you?" Asking people if they bring up these things any other time or only to silence the voices of others gets people testy sometimes.

"Men have higher rates of suicide" so when is their mental health awareness month? Do you advocate for them outside of it? Do you remind people during the importance of checking on friends and the many programs that are super active during? Do you volunteer to teach the youth that men's mental health matter too and they deserve to feel their emotions? Or do you only bring that up when it's convenient argument for you and not when you need to acknowledge actual suffering.

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2 months ago