Age:20

Sex: Female

Race: African American

Any existing relevant medical issues: Currently diagnosed with GAD or Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Family mental history: Schizophrenia disorders

Current medications: Mirtazapine

I had a major episode then a minor one and yes I went to the hospital for it but they discharged me soon after without providing any type of help :( I tried to explain it to the onsite psychiatrist and she cut me off and talked to my mom then came back and said, "This is an ER not a Therapy Clinic" then discharged me.

The episode started with me crying and isolating in a dark room. I remembered hearing thoughts in my head telling me mean things and that my family would be angery with me and disown me and other things. I had an episode prior to where I messed up my arm due to thoughts again and being in a not great headspace and my mood fluctuated.

I broke down to the point i couldn't communicate and went nonverbal and my family tried many things to calm me down and nothing worked and my eyes were closed shut. Then the episode progressed into this strange seizure like attack. My mouth quivered and shook and I started to almost hallucinate and freak out. And i started yelling, "fire! Fire!" "I dont want to burn". While still crying. (I believe this may be attached to some trauma i experienced awhile back) And its the only thing i could say. It was almost like i was stuck in my head. It was pretty scary. Like my body did its own thing and went into autopilot while i watched.

This is wat led me to going to the hospital along with my parents finding my SH on my arm. Unfortunately by time I got to the hospital the episode passed. I say unfortunately because this is wat lead the psychiatrist to being dismissive of me.

I know i need to talk to a mental health professional which has honestly been difficult and ive been trying to figure out what is wrong with me for years and its getting worse. Ive been sent sround in circles by many therapists and doctors and there are many places not doing testing or mental health evaluations.

I came here just to see if i can at least find a way to better describe and explain what is happening so that i can communicate it to a doctor if i can find one in these times.

Ive been struggling so much and its getting to the point some of my family members think these episodes are more of a tantrum for attention seeking then a mental health thing.

Ideas are very much appreciated. I plan to write them down for when i can talk to a doctor not for self diagnosis because thats dangerous especially with whatever im dealing with currently.

Thank you