I know that some people who read these are not medical professionals, so here is a trigger warning: mention of sexual assault.

Marked NSFW due to discussion of sexual intercourse.

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Background:

23F, 205 lbs, 5’6”

I am a transgender man (FTM), and I use he/him pronouns. I have not had any surgery to my body for my transition (I am pre-op) and have been on testosterone since 2/26/2021.

Diagnosed Conditions: Asthma, Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, Panic disorder (due to PTSD), Gender dysphoria

Medications:

• Daily: Cymbalta 40mg, Adderall 20 mg, Singulair 10mg, Allegra 180mg, Norlyda birth control
• Weekly: Depo-Testosterone Injection, 0.3 ml (began 2/26/2021)

I am not pregnant, and have not had a period since February 15, 2021 due to my birth control and testosterone.

I hardly ever drink, never use nicotine, and occasionally use cannabis with a dry herb vaporizer.

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My Sexual Background:

In my life, sex has been a strange thing. Both with masturbation and intercourse with various partners (I am bisexual), I was never able to orgasm until February 2020 at the age of 21. Prior to this, it felt like the stimulation was good, but it got to a point where it just plateaued. My current partner was the one who made me orgasm the first time. We are in an open relationship, and I haven’t had problems achieving orgasm with other partners. Additionally, I have always enjoyed vaginal penetration over clit stimulation. It is a more satisfying feeling and a better orgasm for me.

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The Issue:

In April 2020, after a period of missionary intercourse, my partner entered me from behind and I made a remark that I didn’t think it was in. We examined with fingers and found that the majority of my vagina did not have sensation, seemingly suddenly. The only point we could seem to have stimulation was against my cervix. My body would not react to penis/toys/anything. My clit was reduced in sensitivity, but had mild pleasure - not enough to orgasm.

The rest of my vagina, I could feel some pressure, but not any real feeling/pleasure, as if my vagina had been under anesthetic. I akin it to the way the mouth feels when conscious dental procedures are performed - I can feel the pressure, but not much else.

A few days later, sensation returned to normal. Sex was pleasurable, and I could orgasm.

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We have not had issues until the past few weeks.

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For further context, I was sexually assaulted in March 2021. It wasn’t violent, but it happened. I am dealing with the trauma in therapy. I know my body can subconsciously be affected, but this seems to be a reoccurring issue. I have not had other partners outside of my long-term partner since the assault. My partner and I resumed having intercourse a bit after the assault happened, taking full awareness to my comfort and needs. I had been able to orgasm since the assault.

Additional notes, since I began testosterone, my clit has grown and become more sensitive. My libido has heavily increased. I am wanting sex on the daily.

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Beginning two or so weeks ago (week of 4/4, today’s date is 4/23), I have been unable to orgasm. It is a similar to when I was unable to orgasm in my past - it either plateaus after a certain point or just stopped being arousing.

Yesterday, 4/22/2021, my partner and I engaged in sex. It began fairly normal, and my body felt fine. I was having a pleasurable time, when suddenly I just had a lack of sensation in my vagina - just like in April 2020. We were in missionary position when this happened. We immediately stopped and felt around, and again, the only sensation I could feel was touching my cervix. My clit still had mild sensation, but nothing near where it has been/should be.

Due to emotional reasons, I have not yet checked today to see if sensation has been restored.

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At this point, I am just trying to gain more information as far as to what I can do to remedy this. I know that it could potentially be a psychological issue completely, but the past occurrence makes me think it is not. I am wanting to go to a doctor about the issue, but I also do not enjoy discussing my inherently feminine issues when seeking to have a more male body. I intend on seeking doctor’s advice, but I am looking to find someone trans friendly.

I appreciate anything you guys can help me with. Please let me know if you have any questions. Thanks.