Me 28m and my girlfriend 22f are in a swingers relationship but have came across an issue that I need help with. It started out as a normal swingers meet up at swinger clubs and meeting people online but then became something different.

She convinced me to let us sleep with single men in exchange of party favors for the two of us. Being broke and into drugs I was convinced to let it be a thing.

At the time before the first meet up we didn't set any boundaries or anything which I know now was a mistake. She was really into it doing things that she normally would only do for me since we had some experience with other couples she wouldn't go out of her way to do other wise. After that situation I let her know I was uncomfortable with her behavior at the moment and she would get upset saying that she wanted them to like her and be more eager to come back and do it again. Then we had different situations come up that hadn't previously been discussed and each time it felt like we had an issue come up.

Then we got arrested for drugs when we went on vacation for her 21st birthday and that led to us being on probation which in turn got me and her fired from our jobs and since we couldn't do drugs it was easy for her to convince me to do it for money since we were both in desperate need. She claimed it wasn't a big difference from what we were already doing.

As time went on we continued to do this and she would meet up with multiple guys in a day and most would prefer me to not be part of it at all since they were paying so I was left to just watch since she wanted me to be a part of it for her safety. She would get upset with me because one of the ground rules I set up is that I didn't want her to treat them the same way as me. Don't say things that only you say to me and I would be okay with it.

A few months after we started with that we had an opportunity come up where we met a unicorn that wanted to have threesomes with us and I was of course eager to have two women in the bed with me and it led to issues once we began having sex all three of us. She didn't want me to say things to her that I would only say to her basically the same things I would restrict to her meet ups and I was respectful of the limits I would set up for her.

But like before issues would come up frequently after we had sex with the other lady a few times. She didn't appreciate that I would be eager and that I would focus too much on the other one and not my girlfriend which I would accommodate to. After a few times she didn't want to pursue threesomes with the females she said she preferred to meet up with couples only because they made her uncomfortable and she was afraid that I would end up liking them too much.

The unicorn loved close by to me and was also on hard times so I would do favors for her like give her rides to work or to doctors appointments things of that nature that were not in anyway malicious or done out of a need to get her to like me more. I tried to be a friend to her as well but my girlfriend did not appreciate this. She would get uncomfortable during the threesomes due to the fact we were becoming good friends me and the unicorn. It got to the point where my girlfriend did not want me to start our threesomes with the other ladies she wanted me to start with her and end the encounters with her as well as making her cum first. I agreed with her and continued having threesomes while accommodating her request but it got to the point where if I spent any extra time with the other lady she would get upset. She didn't want me to caress the unicorn when we were not in the immediate moment of having sex and she did not want me to orgasm with the unicorn at all. My girlfriend wanted that all to herself.

Then comes the most recent issue our probation is coming to an end and there is a big fee that we have to pay so we picked up sex for money work again. This was a few days ago all was going fine as she was following the guidelines we set up but then came a person who she got really into it with and she broke some of the guidelines that we set up because she claims she forgot but to me it looked like it was due to the fact that she was really enjoying herself. She got louder than she does when I am doing it to her even though she tells me I am the best she's ever had in bed. One of the guidelines I set up is that I prefer her not to get too into the moment with these pay to play guys due to the fact that I am not involved at all and I don't appreciate it since she's doesn't want me to get too into when it comes to other females I have sex with just for fun. And she doesn't feel like it is fair for her to get paid to have sex and not enjoy herself while doing it and I'm against it because it makes me feel uncomfortable just sitting on the sidelines.

And just the week before this incident she has been complaining to me that I am not the same in bed anymore that I'm not as into it as I was at the very beginning of our relationship due to the added stress of my professional work situation that is unrealated to what we do outside of the bedroom.

And then this situation happened and now I don't know what to do. I feel like she tells me that she doesn't like doing this but I feel like she secretly does enjoy certain guys that are her type and they have skills in the bedroom so I don't know how to approach it due to the fact of not being involved when she's having sex for money. She tells me she loves me and wouldn't do anything to hurt me but I am not sure how truthful she is being.

TL;DR my swinger girlfriend started having sex for money and I feel like she's enjoying too much even though she says it's not the case. Need advice please

Edit: We had an in depth discussion about these feelings I've been having and feelings that she was having about everything. I feel like there are underlying issues that were brought to light with some of the discussions we had on other subreddits.

We had an issue where she wasn't being honest when I would ask if she was enjoying herself but she would do so to spare my feelings. There are times when I could tell she was and she would tell me she wasn't so that would make it hard for me to fully trust everything she said. my logic in asking that was to see if there was something I could adapt to my sexual style that could benefit us both and see if there was something I was lacking because at times I don't feel good enough for her.

We talked about how at times there are guys that make her feel good not because of their size or who they are. Just because they happen to hit the right spot or do just the right thing that it ends up feeling good. There are also times where that person happens to look like a kink of theirs or behaves in such a way that makes it a bit more enjoyable than others. In general though I know the profession has way more hardships than it does benefits and at the same time I know there are some that fully enjoy the work they do and try to make the most of it.

Our situation is complicated because I am required to be there for her safety and comfortably as well as my own it's a choice we both made together but I feel like it's a difficult situation. On one hand I don't want her to feel like she's miserable in the situation but at the same time I don't want her to seek pleasure in the situation. I feel like when it comes to customers the worker should adapt themselves and mold themselves to the customers desire and wants instead of trying to get her to reach orgasm herself. I just feel like in a relationship it's a bit disrespectful to me being in the same room. Don't get me wrong I don't mind it happening if it's in a swingers situation where we are swapping as a couple because at that point both of us are. So it feels fair to both but in times where the customer is seeking 1 on 1 with her I feel like it's a different situation all together.

We did reach a compromise, I don't want her to seek pleasure while working and I'll give her pleasure in between customers if there isn't a line waiting. And by that I mean I don't want her telling the customers what she like and what to do in order to get the most pleasure but I am fine with her asking them what she can do to make them feel good. like that she can cater to them so they feel like coming back and if it happens to be the same thing she likes, I don't want her to encourage them in the sense that they will get to know what gets her off. And In situation where we find ourselves with other people at the same time we prefer that me and her are the only ones to make each other orgasm. this way hopefully we won't feel the same way again!

Let me know if you guys think this will work long term or if there is something I should change!