Me (AMAB enby 33) and my partner (F43) have been together for about a decade and are interested in opening up our sex life. It was her idea to bring in a third person, but I've taken the lead in doing research on providers in our area (Chicago). We are both very excited by the idea! While we have been monogamous for a while, we're very sexually adventurous. However, this would be new territory for us. As we begin to explore this avenue, we are being very open and communicative about our desires, boundaries, and expectations so that we can set ourselves and whichever provider we land on up for success. That being said, I still have a few questions.

We are thinking that we'd book someone for at least two hours--an hour to go over what we're looking for, an hour for fun. I also figured that when I text to schedule the appointment I'd just start a group text with my partner and the SW so we can all communicate freely about what we're looking for and go ahead and get any screening procedures out of the way. Does that feel like the right move?

Aside from what I've mentioned, do you have a preferred way for couples to approach you? I read the pinned post about finding a provider (thanks for that), but is there any difference in etiquette when reaching out as a couple? I want to make sure we are respectful and forthcoming with the provider we decide on. Furthermore, any advice on finding a provider particularly apt to working with couples? I've read that often when couples approach a provider, the expectation is that the majority of the attention will be given to the femme partner, but that isn't what either of us want. Other than making sure we communicate that up top, is there anything we need to be aware of as we navigate that desire?

Sorry if this is an oft repeated question. I tried searching and couldn't find anything this specific. Thanks for any input, and thanks as well for keeping this community open to the public.