It's been a complicated path to this point. Overall, I am happy with my PhD experience. I expect to finish after five years (currently near the end of year four). I really like my dissertation topic. I've learned more than I thought I could and gained so many rich relationships with other researchers, my students, etc. The list of positives is extensive.

However, one of my co-supervisors has been an issue.

The most serious problem is that she is a bully and getting worse. She used all caps throughout one of my documents, and I told her that was totally unacceptable. She's gotten into heated arguments with the other co-supervisor and seems to like antagonizing and dismissing him. They've been working together for a while, and I assume they have a poor working relationship. And the last time we met in her office, she shook her hand at the co-supervisor and me as we were leaving (the way you would shoo a cat out of a room).

She also threatened to have me withdraw because she didn't like my idea for a new paper. Why not just tell me, "That's not a good idea for xx reasons"? When she made the withdrawal threat, I talked to our program supervisor, who spoke to her. I raised the issues I am outlining here with the program supervisor. While he was trying as much as possible not to be partial, he seemed to accept that I had legitimate concerns. In case it matters, I have a good working relationship with him.

She also refuses to discuss when I can do a proposal defence, even though, based on my dissertation progress, I am well past the point when that would usually happen. I have already published a paper and have research designs for the other two, and there is an agreed-on outline for the dissertation between me and the two co-supervisors. Our program supervisor says this would typically be enough for a proposal defence.

The situation has been a serious negative for my mental health lately, which in turn is impacting my progress. My mental health has taken a serious downturn after she made the withdrawal threat described above. At this point, I don't think keeping her on my committee is sustainable. I'm considering going to the program supervisor and asking that she no longer be part of my committee. The other part is that I'd like to avoid invoking formal complaint procedures, which, from my reading, would be tedious and lengthy for all involved.

What feedback, guidance, etc do you have, particularly on my proposed next step? To be clear, if anyone sees anything I could do better, I am happy to hear that. Note that I am based in Canada.

E. To reflect the country where my program is located.

E2. Just to say I am very grateful for all the kindness and helpful advice here! You're all great.