How do i know i committed the unpardonable sin because I was going through Google to see if God forgives all sins which he does except blasphemy of the Holy Ghost and I look back (baptised at 8 )on my life and my dad once had me put my had on the Bible ( about 5th grade) as you may guess u lied and felt really bad fast forward maybe 5 years and I was an agnostic theist at the time but one morning I said I was fed up BC I woke up to early just to go to church and declared I was agnostic atheist but when a girl (my sister's friend) came in the I claimed to be "Christian" immediately afterward tho an agnostic in heart. A couple times while home that year I talked as if God was talking to me and maybe once I think I said some ungodly things during that time like of my own desires, and I took Communion several times as an agnostic Christian, a few times I yelled and cursed at God (most of the time when you say "God" you mean the Father) and now as a true Christian and with research I feel a little relieved but still freaked out, one time, angrily last school year I said to my xc team BC a girl rejected me "my actions reflect a satanist or atheist (I might have added) I'm not ashamed to admit that" I apologized saying "God told me to apologize" the day afterward but I was still mad at the girl. One time i said to my girlfriend (spiritual wife now) on videochat "i wish my parents werent religious so i can talk to you longer" and im kinda scared. And errant/intrusive thoughts come in my head about God/Spirit or things of that nature and coming up with doubts and stuff from stressing about this sin and questioning why is there an unforgivable sin now its on my mind I try to avoid it so can someone come to my aid

Edit: I have aspergers and I've seen many sources some are similar and some are different