Hello! I'm not looking to offend anyone, so I apologize if I say something that does upset someone. Within the past two or three years, I've gone back and forth with becoming a Christian again. I'll provide context on why I left and my journey with possibly rejoining and then explain the question better.

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For starters, I grew up Baptist for the most part. Technically, I was baptized Catholic shortly after I was born, but my father left the Catholic Church when I was 5, so I have no memory of being Catholic. When I was 6, we joined Emmanuel Baptist, and I stayed there until I was 14. I left Christianity for a couple of reasons. First, I despised how hateful so many Christians acted toward the LGBTQ community. I was a teenager in the 2010s, and there was a lot of anti-LGBTQ rhetoric being spewed by Christians. I'm not here to debate whether their actions are sinful, but I disagreed with calling them slurs, sending them to conversion therapy, outlawing their rights, etc. Then, I hated the idea that my best friend, who was an Atheist, was going to Hell, but some criminal who killed someone could pray to God, get their sins forgiven, and go to Heaven. I couldn't comprehend how that was okay. Not to mention that there are people who live in countries where Christianity is not the dominant religion, and I thought it was so unfair that the kids in those countries were just as likely to disbelieve in Christianity as I was to believe in their faiths (like Hinduism, Buddism, etc.). Finally, I also got tired of being called a sinner every weekend because Adam and Eve ate some fruit from a tree they weren't supposed to eat. After I left Christianity, I jumped around a bit before settling down as an Atheist. When I turned 18, I discussed my faith, or really my lack of faith, with one of my teachers, and he said I sounded more like an Agnostic than an Atheist. I looked up what an Agnostic was, and I've been identifying as one ever since.

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When I was around 22, I got tired of being an Agnostic. I wanted answers, and I wanted a religion to believe in. So, I researched different religions and tried to find one that fits what I believed about the world. I looked into Paganism, Wicca, Buddism, and Spirituality (general). I was out of new options and decided to give Christianity another try and that leads me to where I am now. I want to preface that I'm not dead set on rejoining, but I've hit a roadblock with my research and don't know what to do. My issue is that, as an adult, I thought Christianity was false because the Bible was not completely true. I discovered that there are historical inaccuracies in the Bible and that historians don't consider the Bible a reliable historical source. Within scripture, there are differences in the stories, such as in the New Testament with how the stone rolled away from the tomb. But I've heard some Christians say they don't care if the science, details, or history in the Bible is untrue or doesn't match. They say that since the message remains the same that it doesn't matter if small details are different. Also, they only look to the Bible regarding matters of faith, not science or history. I couldn't believe this because, in my mind, that doesn't make sense. If I'm going to allow an old book to dictate how I live my life, then I expect it to be 100% true and accurate. If it's not completely true, then who's to say which parts are true or false? Which ones do we follow or disregard? Another issue I have is with Genesis and the creation story. I was shocked to find that so many Christians don't believe in the creation story and believe in evolution (to an extent). I don't understand how that could be when without the original sin story, why would God need to send His only son down to Earth to forgive our sins? From my perspective, if the Bible falls apart then so does Christianity. I struggle to find a reason to believe in Jesus Christ without the Bible. So, I'm just confused right now. How does one believe in Christianity and have faith in God/Jesus Christ when the source of everything we know about them isn't without error? I want to add that I've never had a spiritual experience either. I attended Christian youth conferences, went on mission trips, did Awana, and was very involved with my church when I was a Christian. But after watching some videos on how churches can manipulate people's feelings to make them feel like they've had a spiritual experience I realized that everything I thought I ever felt was fake.

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Thank you to anyone who read this and will take the time to nicely answer my question! If anyone needs a further explanation I'd be glad to discuss it more!