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Long story short, I (25F) finally knows how to block away the AP, despite still living under the same roof.
Both my parents are AP, one more so than the other though.
The parent has been abusive, manipulating, and also demands us to be "filial" aka doing all his shit for him because he's the "breadwinner".
I'm not saying the other parent is any nicer than him, she's basically an airhead that thinks she's cute by being stupid, and also takes no responsibility for her own life.
Like most Asian family, the APs runs their own business. But the way they run it, sometimes it's like a hobby to them, and they are so shit and messy that it's only barely profitable.
So for the past 20 years, I've been bullied to do more shit than my siblings cuz they're "less capable". Tbh they're useless because the APs treat male offspring like pandas - creatures that should be eliminated by natural selection due to their laziness but now treated as precious beings.
But recently, I no longer accept that I am of the duty to do their shit, given my elder brother recently started working for the parent for a salary (despite meager due to parent being cheapskates), and since he's paid to do work for the family business, how is it that my business to do their shit for them.
Parent kept making this excuse that Brother is not really helpful, he's not capable etc. Tbh, that's none of my business, and if an employee is useless, they should just fire him imo.
I also do not accept his offer for "employment" at his company, given that will mean I need to take responsibility for their decisions, because they will blame me for all bad decisions made by them, and claim credit for all the shit I do.
The next thing I did, was to get a job. I'm lined up for a full time job, but it doesn't start a while later (headcount issues), and while the parent had this brilliant idea that I should "come back and help the family business", I got myself a temporary position just to get some extra cash and also a reason to get out of the mess.
It also helps that the parent was an asshole to me 2 months earlier, that ended up in him not talking to me for 2 weeks, and when he finally wanted to talk to me (cuz he wanted to use me for something again), I got so used to my freedom of not needing to talk to him, I no longer engage in conversation with him or even acknowledge his existence.
He still make remarks and stuff, and tried to get me stuff as peace offering, so I will continue to do work for him, but I made it quite clear to the other parent that it's not happening.
She said this makes it hard for him to include me in his investments, where he planned to put my name in his company, and also this might affect me getting a share in his will.
Imma like: come on guys, I worked so hard, lost the best 10 years of my life, for you shitheads, and you're still deciding if I should be included in the will? Forget it, he should spend all his money on himself, enjoy life, and leave nothing to anybody (given none of us earned anything that warrants us to his assets).
And fuck no to adding my name to the company. I ain't stupid. Doing all the dirty for them, in hopes of getting some part of the asset that I might rightfully enjoy if they die without a will? No thanks.
I'm not saying I want any of them in demise, I just want no part of their life in mine. Nor do I want my life mingled with theirs.
It's better we lead different lives, really.
So here I am now, living under the same roof as him, but not doing any "work" for him. He tried indirect shaming and calling me selfish by giving lectures via long winded text messages in the family group, I just ignored him and continued with my life.
This is probably the most un-stressed period of family life I have.
I just hope I'm not jinxing it.
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- 3 years ago
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