I have been living away from parents since 15 yo, as part of oversea study program. In the last 12 years my contact with them has been phone skype and visiting home every 1 or 2 years as long as visa allows.

They paid for my education and living cost while i am oversea, which is a lot. I think it amounts to 20k tuition/yr and roughly 12k/yr living cost. They did this for 5 years long, and they always remind me that i am forever indebted to them.

I was a good kid, always study and finish my school. But nothing makes them proud. They came to visit for graduation. Mom was very sour.

I am grateful but nothing satisfy my mom. She always wants more. My dad lashed out when i wanted to get married and ruined my wedding day. So i went no contact with him. 1 year later went NC with mom cuz she keep guilting me into things. I have offered to pay the money back but they never agree and accusing me of being "calculative". I cannot stand their manipulation and triangulation. They pin me against each other in fights but when convinient they band together to fight me.

Recently they included other family member to persuade me to change my mind. I shut that down fast. I told my parents before i want to pay the tuition back so i dont have to be in their beck and call but they dont want that.

Anyway. Life is good now, i dont worry about my parents manipulating me cuz NC. I feel tremendous gratitude to my parents becuz they paid for school. I am thinking of paying them the tuition back in installment. Kinda like paying loan. I dont mind the money but i am annoyed that they will use to coddle my brother. And also my mom control all family finances. There is not any transparency etc. My mom lies constantly. I float this payment idea to other family member and no one took me seriously.

If i do send money to payback tuition, i will do it through bank in installment and will stay NC cuz i dont think they know how to not be a jackass...

Anyway what do you guys think? Anyone ever did something similar? If you do please share how the money payment affect your relationship with AP.