I was inspired by another user's post regarding body shaming and realized I had a lot to unpack.

Currently NC with my entire family, immediate and extended. I am separated from them.

My dad is skinny, used to be muscular when younger but not very healthy now. Lost most of his teeth due to smoking 2 packs of cigs/day for 30 something years. He can't really gain weight as easy as other people. When he was younger, he likes to body shame Mom. My mom has a belly after giving birth to 2 kids, which is normal. Dad expect women to have a slender body shape. Small waist, skinny etc. When they picked me up from swimming, dad actually commented on my belly. I was maybe 14 years old. This made me self conscious around my dad.

Dad is spoiled. Mom does everything. Do laundry, fold clothes, pick out clothes to wear for him everyday. Buy clothes for him. Organize meals, shop, prep, cook. Dad smokes, play video games, sexually harassed our live-in maid/nanny by exposing himself naked to her many times (I witnessed this when i was 12 years old). Peep my maid in the shower. He also brought women home numerous times (dad works from home, mom works in office). After I got my period, mom told me about these harassment and told me to always lock the door and cover my breasts/ woman part around my dad. This experience fucked me up.

Dad likes to make sexist comments generally. Especially if he sees women driver. Always blame them for being a woman. Has constant fight with mom and always shut her up by bringing the sex status (he is a man, mom is a woman). Mom had to put his name first in all family paperwork since he is the "head of the household". My mom confided in me many years ago that she is unhappy but never try divorcing since it is frowned upon and generally mom doesn't have backbone to go against the flow. She is a very obedient woman.

Mom always body shamed me for being fat. She forces me to go shopping and always made me feel bad for having to ask for bigger size in shirts/ dress. Many shops in asia only carry 1 size. I had wider body and larger boobs, so that just don't work for asian clothings. Shopping is shitty because she likes to complain how difficult it is to get me clothing that fits well. Aside from this also she made remarks on my face, hair, skin tones etc.

Recently I learned from my great aunt regarding the death of my mom's mother (grandma). My grandma died due to giving too many birth. She gave birth to 5 children total, 4 girls and 1 boy. But the grandpa wants 1 more boy. After giving birth to the last child. Grandma ask the nurse what gender the baby was. Once she knew it was another girl, she kept crying and her bleeding won't stop. She died shortly and the baby died 1 month later. Hearing this also fucked me up.

I have an older brother who I am also NC becuz he is a POS. We disagree in many ways, but he likes to talk just like my dad. I am stupid because I'm a woman. Ironically I was my dad's little girl, and he fought for my education. I have been independent financially since 2012. My bro, is still being supported by parents. He is wasting their retirement funds. My parents already told me all the house/ inheritance are going to him.

Oh I am expected to send money by my mom. I am the stronger of the 2 kids, so she likes to press me for money. But I stopped now since they mistreated me so terribly. My life has been better since NC. But I do feel sorry for them, for all the bad decisions they made throughout their life. I feel sorry for my mom a lot, but she also hurt me throughout the years.

Thanks for reading