I have been without contact from my dad since 01/2018 and my mom since 03/2019. In this long post i will go into my journey that led to this. 

 I came from conservative South East Asian country. Left home to study abroad in US since i was 15 years old. Since in US i have lived with 5 different hostfamilies. Though my parents supported me financially, they are not the right person to give me any advice. But i did not realize this back then. 

Men in my family hated women, dad is known to bring women home and flash his dick to our live-in maid. He basically thinks women are stupid and meant to do housework. Mom is submissive. Dad abuse mom and mom manipulate dad. Mom was known to had an affair when i was 6 years old but never admitted it. Mom and dad are both fucked up and abusive in their own way. They were helicopter parenting from half the world away. Every phone calls i was always reminded that soemone elses kid is able to bring money in and how horribly i was doing. I considered selling egg or prostituting to cover the cost of tuition but fortunately never came to that. 

Fast forward to adulthood. My mom turned hysterical. she has always been that way, but i just realized it. She is used to gaslighting me and manipulating me to get her own way. One time i visit home and bring 3000 usd as a gift in cash. I gave the envelope to her and she immediately counted the money to make sure it is the right amount. No thanks was given. She will manipulate me into feeling pity and wanting to send her money, but then she will spend it all on my brother who is draining her retirement funds. 

I forgot to mention that my brother is a piece of shit who games all day, minus going to the store that my parents opened. He is given a "salary" no matter how much he is sinking the store. Breakfast is delivered to bedroom, he does not do laundry or clean. Eat and sleep and video game. He is 32. His GF of 10 years has been aiming for my money too. Once she asked me to send 800 usd a month which i refused. Mom is busy dreaming of my bro dream wedding while pressuring me of money. 

Forward to 2017 when the feminist in me grew and my dads sexistness is no longer tolerable. We had a disagreement of the political things i posted on FB. Yelled at me for no reason then he played the "silent treatment". Called my mom for support, mom just blamed me. 

Forward to 2018, i was getting married to my husband. We were getting married in our kitchen, civil wedding and all. After not talking to my dad i wanted to talk to him the night before our wedding day. Hoping to reconciliate but back fired. He called me names and telling me how useless i am. What a disgrace that i got married without his "permission". I did not know at the time but i think he wanted dowry. He was the one refusing to communicate with me due to political issue. He broke my fucking heart. My then fiancee and I were distraught. But my Mother in Law was the one who told us to go through with the wedding. My own mom just blame me again for "angering" my dad

Last i heard from my mom was because she called in desperation after i blocked her from FB and WA. She cried but i did not feel pity. She still compare me to other asian kids that send her money. I think she only love money and being abused. She cannot stop manipulating. 

Going no contact. I have contemplated for a long time if that is something that can change in the future. I dont love them anymore. The only love i had was the memory of our childhood, before my parents hatred spread everywhere. I dont want to see my dad anymore after what he did to me before my wedding. 

I have good days and bad days. But going no contact allows me room to have time for my husband. He also needs my time and attention, not my baby parents. I wrote this story on the bus. I hope it makes sense.