I am the "typical gay" in terms of looks: tall, handsome looking, muscled etc. The only "down" (not in my eyes, but having moved to the US, my eyes are opening) is I'm mixed (middle eastern / south asian). Which means I'm "exotic" looking (hence get hookups / initial interest) but nothing goes beyond that.

I have had a difficult dating experience in London (where I was born/raised) but never had issues hooking up. I went to dating coaches, therapy etc and everyone was confused why I am single.

I moved to San Francisco, where I was having a culture shock and thankfully could move to New York via work. I got a small number of dates (nothing compared to my "white" counterparts who were/are getting 3-4 a week) but continued to get hookups.

What I will say is the "furthest" I got was with a guy who was from Miami (white) and another guy who only dates brown guys (also white, probably a fetish thing) but still it didn't get that far lol.

I have been to therapy, even questioned my sexuality, asked friends, had my personality attacked online because of my poor results, all because I'm just not getting the experiences I had hoped to have had by now. But now I wonder if my first therapist was right that I'm just in the wrong place (i.e. in places with high systemic racism).

I want to stay in the US for 5-6 more years so I can get enough money to move to Spain or something and retire. But I need to make this tolerable and give myself the best shot at life in terms of dating/relationships/love etc.

I have visited Miami and liked it but given I've moved so much, and given the post above was a bit old, I'm wondering if Miami would be the best for me or not. My work is flexible so I can pretty much go anywhere and I make a good living so will be comfortable anywhere too (not boasting). I was exploring LA, Chicago, etc but I'm only getting the "white" perspective, and I want the "asian" perspective hence I'm posting this.

I just don't want to die only having experienced hookups and nothing more. Please can others share if I am in the wrong in some way and what you recommend doing?