I’m not usually the type of person to post something like this. And honestly you all have probably heard or experienced some sort of variation of this same story already. I think I have just now reached my personal boiling point.

In case it gives any context, contrary to my username I am actually a woman. That said, I am sure this exact thing happens to men as well, and it isn’t acceptable either way.

I was on [insert your favorite dating app here], as I am on occasion. My profile says multiple times in multiple places that I’m not interested in sex. Sometimes I match with people, they ask about it, we decide we’re not compatible, and we move on. Sometimes people are willing to give it a shot because sex isn’t super important to them. Both of these are perfectly fine outcomes! I’m not looking to “trick” anyone or waste their time.

This is not the first time this has happened to me, but for some reason it really got to me. I matched with a guy, he asked about it, I answered. He went on to explain that he has a high sex drive (more specifically, he wanted someone he could “deal with the urges with quickly” in “2-3 minutes and be done with it”). I said okay, cool. We’re not compatible, but I hope you find someone who is! It’s my standard response. He had a few more questions and I’m happy to answer. Until...

he comes up with what he calls a “proposal.” Essentially, he describes his elaborate plan to get me alone at a part, touch me in just the right way, “and ignite some romantic desires (consensually, of course).” He was pretty explicit. While he’s waiting for me to reply, he adds that it’s a bit of a fantasy for him to get a woman to like sex by showing her how to do it right.

I went off on him, which I usually never do. I told him how sex isn’t consensual if he pressures me into it like he’s trying to do. I told him that we obviously weren’t a match, and that was totally fine, until he decided to be a creep and stroke his ego. I told him that women don’t deserve this (and I will add to this post that no gender, nobody deserves to experience this) and I told him to do better. He blocked me SO quickly.

I have never been one to speak up for what I believe in except on reddit. This, and an unrelated experience yesterday, have completely flipped a switch for me. I want to live in a world where my body is respected. I have reached my breaking point.

Needless to say, I’m taking a break from the dating apps.