I’m sorry if this comes off as rambling, I just have a lot on my mind right now.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over 3 years now. He is a straight man, I’m a bi girl. We have an extremely happy relationship outside of our sex life. The first few months of our relationship was rough. I was embarrassed about my sexuality so I would just give him sex to make him happy, without getting anything out of it.

I struggled with my sexuality for 2 years. It just feels like I think the idea of somewhat sexual things is nice, but often the thought of and actually doing it is just very unpleasant. It feels nice physically, but it just doesn’t interest me and I don’t seek it out.

When I finally decided to bring up graysexuality as a possibility, he was confused and hurt. He has talked this through with his therapist, but given his past he feels like sex is the only way he can feel worthy. We have discussed having an open relationship. I think I would be fine with him having purely sexual relations with other people, but I also struggle with anxiety, BPD, and body dysmorphia. This makes it hard for me not to fear abandonment.

On top of this, he seems to really mourn the idea of never having sex with me again, or even the idea of not doing it as often as we usually do. We are working through this as a couple, and I guess I just want to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and if you have any advice. It’s really appreciated.

TL;DR: I believe I am gray-ace and my boyfriend is hypersexual. We are considering an open relationship so he can have his sexual desires met and I can respect my own boundaries. Advice?