to make a very complicated story a little short, my boyfriend and i recently broke up, we’d been dating for about 9 months, and i had the knowledge that he was asexual (a thing that was never once remotely an issue in our relationship even though I'm not ace, I am completely fine with him being ace, and it was a thing we talked a long time about and were continually communicating about since we were both poly). he’d also mentioned that he was on the aromantic spectrum, but his feelings in this case were romantic.

very recently he’s realised that at the very least that isn’t true anymore. to be honest that isn’t really an issue with me. things were drifting apart in a romantic sense anyway because he is going off to school so far away. we've not been getting any less close as people though: sharing interests, talking every day, enjoying company etc. the issue in my mind is that i’m SO ok with the things he describes that being aro is like, and how a lot of it makes a lot of sense. i feel like i don’t know how to deal with this because i can’t really grasp that kind of thing NOT existing in my brain, at least a little.

i’d like to add, because it’s relevant, that i am very autistic, and have a very hard time differentiating between platonic and romantic attraction to begin with. it also i think has a big impact on how i perceive expectations of relationships. i feel like i don’t have any inherent ones, and that a lot of them come from media and people around me even though that’s might not be what i actually want. i just am confused.