Alliterations aside, we're mostly seeking Unicorns, but aren't opposed to the right couples. Single men, please stop sending us photos of your cock. Someday we might want single men, and it'll suck for you that you're already blocked, right?

EDIT: Husband is straight. Wife is bisexual.

Gallery of fun included: https://imgur.com/a/Bhw2Tfy

​We're a late 40's couple in Ahwatukee looking for a new special friend to treat to weekend casino excursions. We're nobody's sugar-daddy or mommy, and we're not rich, but we can afford to spend the weekend eating room service in a comped casino room.

We are as down to earth, non-judgemental and easy-going as they come. We DO NOT identify as "swingers" so much as we're just a couple who enjoys having great sex that sometimes involves a third (or fourth).

WARNING: We're both formerly obese, and still chubby/curvy. We have imperfect bodies, with all the sags and stretches that being nearly 50 and fat for decades gets you. If this is a problem you for - no worries! Just move along. We'll be just fine.

​We're both employed, literate, parents of adult children, and quite in love. We've known and been sleeping with each other since the 80's, and if you're reading this anytime near when we posted this, we're still having great sex, with and without "special friends."

The ideal, uh...candidate...understands we're not perfect. They can be, largely speaking, any size, shape or color they'd like to be, just as long as they too are smart, funny and sexy and aren't using the electric cart to get around the Costco. You should want an ongoing thing. We'd love to see you...regularly, but not constantly. We'd prefer you be NEAR our ages or younger. We're both the products of young parents, and we've both got adult kids, so... ...be older than our children and younger than our elders, please. The rest is largely negotiable.

​The attached gallery of photos came from two separate trips: One to Maricopa, and another to Vegas. They both feature our "special friend" who, sadly, found love. We wish her the best, but geez does it put a damper on our threesome lives. They were weekends full of sex, toys, soapy showers, washable markers, mild restraints, bubble wands, sex machines, and filthy videos for inspiration.

​We're not in a rush. We'd love to meet you for chips and salsa and dirty stick-figure drawings while we split a sampler platter of tiny taquitos and mini chimis and joke about the last horrible public meeting you had trying to find people who weren't crazy or so drama-filled that they couldn't stop texting their 3rd baby-mamma about a dead car battery and back child support. Hell, we might even pay for the margaritas. :P

In the interest of full disclosure, we're both legal state medical card holders, and we also believe in a few other things that are way less harmful than alcohol. We're also more than happy to be 100% safe, sane and sober, and will take a hard pass on anyone using "dangerous" or "harmful" drugs. [Different strokes for different folks.]

We do not smoke cigarettes and are largely uninterested in those who do, but everything's possible for the right people.