when I tell people I'm apolitical.("privileged" sorry. a little fatigued.)

maybe I am. I'm white. I'm a cis female. But I'm disabled. I cannot work. so I'm trying to build my life as much as I can. I've been through a lot of trauma, but I'm only 29. I know I'm probably young & stupid?

I don't have the time or energy towards politics or parties, though I do have a few opinions on some things, that I will share if asked, and I don't judge people. I wish people wouldn't call me heartless about general people. The things I have seen before on the news bothered me profoundly. I weep about things like genocides because I can't stand the thought of people hurt. (of course, as I hope most people mght) but I cry at everything when there's nothing I can do, especially with my status. All I can do is hope for people, and focus on the small group of people within my life. I care about my family, even if they dont about me. If they're upset about politics or something has happened that directly affected them, I wll listen, I will offer help. But I'm naive to think I can make any change. I'm not a social justice warrior that everyone thinks I should be. "if you're disabled, you should care more!? don't you want to fight to keep your disability rights/checks?"

I'm too sensitive for news.But I'm also too "logical". I'm autistic & agnostic, which I think plays into my politics. I have a hard time believing one side or the other because I'm aware almost everything can be taken with a grain of salt, or be manipulated, nonfactual, under or overexaggerated, stories and ideas corrupted/supported by various traumas, experiences, statuses, popularity, office politics, corruption, greed, etc, and things are not my own & aren't the same as me, or the same as anyone.

Faith in politicians to me if almost like having faith in a God that I'm unsure if it even exists or not.Can I put my trust in a president I've never even met? How could one person meet all the needs of so many varying people? Everything really "depends" on a factor that might not lean on logic as much as other things. A passing bill might have only been passed because of the views of a small group of people. You can't please everyone. and you can't always apply logic to every facet of life. and politics, it seems, especially. People are very extreme on either side (though) not all, and people in the middle seem to be called privileged or ignorant, or what have you.

Wondering about all of this, am I really expected to support any party? or should I do hours of research just to come to a vague idea of my views as a whole or just focus on my views of individual topics, on a case by case basis, without a party affiliations? I'm very centered about most things, I see the good and bad in everything & can understand details, an idea might be 80% good & 20% bad, depending, and it's this impartial view that people hate about me so much. I can't pick a side on many ideas because I see both sides almost equally. Though there are things I'm less impartial about.

I'm sorry if these are all stupid ramblings, I might be uneducated to you all. Unsure.