Growing up, I often felt line I experienced attraction very different than the people around me. I remember feeling very confused how people could have fantasies or feel attraction towards characters in books or movies because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't visualize any of that. Similarly with celebrities, everyone always seemed to have a crush on some celebrity, but it made no sense to me.

I even remember in past relationships feeling like I was lying when asked if I fantasized about them while apart. I could think of them for sure, but it was never like how it was depicted in media. I assumed the media representation of fantasizes were exaggerations. The only way I could really "fantasize" about a person would be to make up a story and almost narrate it to myself

When I started to get some language around aphantasia, a lot of this really started to make sense to me. Because I can't visualize anything, attraction for me is typically based on how I feel around the person. Almost like a list of questions like: "am I really engaged in what they are doing", "do I find myself wanting to be around them more", "am I excited around them", etc.

Photos and videos have become a vital thing for me in relationships because I can look at the photos and remember more about how I felt in the moment. Photos are real and I can see what was captured, whereas when I close my eyes, I get nothing.

I'm curious if others here also feel like aphantasia has played a part in how they feel attraction or create fantasies of people in their life.