I’m [27F] so sad right now. Got broken up with yesterday by my bf [35M]. We had an amazing day together, even an amazing week and he suddenly tells me he can’t fulfill his end of the relationship. He has “relationship fatigue “ and needs more time to himself and to not have to worry about inviting someone to things, etc. I’m so heartbroken, I thought things were really picking up and I was so happy.

The relationship started with him being ALL IN - even arranging for a weekend getaway after one week. I thought it seemed a little fast but I was so excited. He told me he loved me after one month. I reciprocated a few weeks later. I am anxiously attached (not sure what kind) and have made tremendous growth and was doing so well of letting go of anxieties, leaning in, and trusting what I thought was a good thing.

After about 2 months of dating and spending all of our time together I could feel him pulling away, needing more time to himself. This didn’t feel good but I thought it was probably reasonable and obliged. The past few weeks have been incredible and I was so sure we were on the same page.

I guess he never really got that vulnerable with me or expressed his feelings too much, but he was also very straight with me about the breakup and has been giving me space but also checked in on me. Is he even avoidant?

Had a horrible breakup a year and a half ago where I was completely blindsided. Trying not to let this validate my trauma or make me not believe in healthy, long lasting relationships. I’m just so sad.

I guess I’m looking for comfort, perspective, maybe even advice on breaking patterns whenever I date again. I’m so drawn towards the exciting people who give me all or nothing, but I just want stable love.

TLDR: got broken up with by an avoidant (?), very sad, don’t want it to happen again.