I have severe emetophobia and contamination OCD along with a history of disordered eating. I’ve come a long way, as I can now eat at restaurants! When I first started eating out, I chose “safe” restaurants based on online reviews, word of mouth, and how clean they look inside. Eventually I fell in love with a well-traveled foodie who accepted my emetophobia and always knew exactly how to take care of me when I felt unwell - in this time I was able to make greater strides in my recovery than I had in a decade of treatment.

Since then, I’ve lost this person, worked in restaurants, and discovered that my city has easily accessible health inspection records. I miss the person I was, but am unable to unlearn that my city has a pest, food safety, and worker exploitation problem. I no longer have the support that I had when I was challenging my fears, and I always check health inspection records before going to a new restaurant. Because most of them have at least one critical violation within the past two years, I have been dodging eating out with friends and my partners, and having so much anxiety when I get food with them that it’s hard to enjoy either the food or the company.

My question for all of you who fear restaurants or other public places: how do you personally decide what is “safe”? Do you also have strict rules about this, and if so, what are they? And of course, if you’ve made strides in overcoming your fears/defying your rules, how have you done it?