I wanted to share this story because I'm proud of it but it's difficult for me to tell about people in real life and unknown to most people in my life. If anyone is going through something similar I hope I can give you some inspiration.

When I was a teenager I'd skip school because of my then undiagnosed anxiety. It eventually got so bad I was forced to see a psychologist and I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. I found it very difficult to believe that I was mentally ill. After which I dropped out of school. The thought of returning made me feel physically sick.
I'd lie awake at night thinking of all the things people must be thinking and saying about me. I went to a private school where the definition of success was to become a lawyer or doctor etc and if you didn't end up with a "prestigious job" you were considered a failure. My parents were largely absent for various reasons and as an only child I was basically left to my own devices.

I was so ashamed that I wasn't in school that I didn't want to go outside for fear of people I once knew seeing me. This avoidance snowballed to the point where I didn't even like being near the windows of my house for fear of being spotted. On the rare occasions I had to be outside if I heard laughter I'd assume it was directed at me in some way. In my mind everyone was looking at me. My physical appearance also became a source of stress, I thought people were judging me for my pale skin, uncut hair, or the fact I was obese from binge eating due to my stress. I was certain I would never amount to anything and I had burned any bridges I had for a happy life. This continued for four years that I mostly spent nocturnal watching youtube and playing videogames. I was very lucky to have one close friend who would come over to my house and spend time with me.

Eventually I started getting some small wins. At first it was simply managing to walk up the road to get a coffee. Then to attend my only friend's dungeons and dragons games and interacting with people there which was terrifying. Then going to the gym and then getting my license and so on. Things just built onto other until I became the semi-functioning member of society I am today. It was a long process but I feel stronger having gone through it.

Now I am almost 30 and I'm very confident socially. I've worked in jobs that required public speaking that I could never have imagined doing. I am about to start working in the community services as I want to use my experience to help people avoid what I went through. I still suffer from severe anxiety and it makes some things very challenging but it's nothing compared to how it used to be.

Anyway thank you if you finished reading my post and learning my secret backstory. If you're going through something similar to what I did I promise you no matter how insurmountable your fears are now you can overcome them eventually. Start with small steps and I think they'll turn into big ones if you keep going in the right direction :)