In just a few hours, I'm going in for an interview for a new job. I didn't lie on my resume, and haven't tried to mislead them in any way, but when I applied I knew I fell far short of their listed qualifications yet somehow within 10 minutes of submitting my application, the president personally called me and scheduled an interview. (Small company, but they still have an HR department)

Now I can't stop obsessing over what shoes to wear, how to comb my hair, should I wear my suit or try to be business casual?

I feel guilty for the possibility of leaving my current job (which I like) but they would never be able to match what this new job has to offer. It's a life-changing amount of money for someone in my position. Not a stupid amount of money, but over double, almost triple of what I currently make, and salary, not hourly.

And that just makes me more anxious, because I was raised in a family of, "If you want to earn money, you've gotta put in hard work." Farmers, masons, roofers, most of my family looks down on "sissy" jobs like this one, but if I get it I'll be making more than most of them, and I honestly don't know how they'll react.

All those insecurities I had in my early 20's are popping up again, something that I thought I learned to deal with, but now I think I might throw up as soon as I open my mouth. My hands are shaking so bad I look like I'm standing naked in the snow and I can hear my heart pounding in my ears.

Honestly, writing this down has helped a bit, but we'll see where I'm at mentally when I walk in the door this afternoon.