I tried so hard all day to be strong. I went on a run by myself and got some takeout. I was trying to focus on this new documentary but I couldn’t focus because my anxiety was taking over me.

My (26F) boyfriend (30M) is on a mini vacation in his home state and went to dinner with old coworkers tonight one was a manager and one was a friend. I think They’re both girls, but I don’t know them. It makes me really anxious even though we’ve been together a year and I really do trust him. He’s never given me a reason not to.

But despite my best efforts in trying to keep myself busy and away from my thoughts, I keep thinking like “who are these girls” and what they are talking about or doing. He called me after dinner with them and he looked so much happier than he’s been in so long and he’s now going to one of his guy friends houses to go out on the town tonight.

I am not sure if this is just me, overall, feeling the pain I felt in childhood about feeling lonely and rejected, or if this is just my anxiety trying to freak me out about the possibility of cheating.

I just feel really sad tonight. I’m sad because my anxiety is really making me believe something is fishy but also sad because I should be able to trust him and he’s one of the most caring partners I’ve had.

I know he hasn’t been home in a while and he’s been pretty stressed lately. Maybe this is just a good time for him to reconnect with old friends and who am I to try to control that or in my head be upset about that.

I just would like advice or thoughts. Am I crazy? Why do I think so much negative things about this whole trip when I should be trying to enjoy my time alone and just be happy for him.