tl;dr Skip to the last to the last two paragraphs to avoid the fluff, though I feel it is necessary to explain.

I am writing some backstory for a Pathfinder (Dungeons and Dragons offshoot) character who has severe anxiety, for most of her life she was surrounded by people who fawned over her, practically worshiping the ground she walks on, she hated it, hates being touched, recoils when spoken to, just wants to be left alone. She exploded in anger one day and fled her home eventually hiding herself away in the woods to live a life of seclusion (with her pet hedgehog). Now since this is fantasy, she has angel blood in her, giving her unrivaled beauty along with the superstition of if someone touches her that maybe they will be somehow blessed, of course this is all rubbish and makes her want to run away, she is also a witch so when she ran away she disguised herself as a hideous old woman and occasionally a young man when she is out foraging.

This is getting long so I will streamline the rest to get to my questions. An adventurer finds his way to her hut and is desperately in need of food and shelter, he discerns that she is hiding her true form and eventually becomes friends with her, she is Asexual and he is Gay, he respects her need to be left alone but visits from time to time to check up on her.

Now, here are my questions, what are some non-verbal ways to communicate her ability to have guests? I was thinking of having a secret code, hidden in a spot known to him so that before he goes to her house, he can identify whether or not she is comfortable having someone in her space. Another question is, whether there is a good way of giving him a reason to check on her in the event that no message is left, I was thinking, if there is no message for 3 consecutive days, he has permission to check on her by any means necessary (within reason depending on his own judgement), but that has it's own issues where he may not visit until the 3rd day and have to wait another two meaning she could be in a dangerous situation for a full 5 days.

I really enjoy writing realistic and diverse characters (even in fantasy settings) and I want to do as much research as possible to do them justice. I personally deal with anxiety but nothing on the scale that I am trying to write and I would love some advice, be it from personal experience or otherwise.

Thanks.