I'm going to try to emphasise my point, but I don't know if my point will come across.

I hate the idea that I'm in anyway depressed or have anxiety. I want to stand on my own 2 feet, I don't like thinking that I'm in anyway unable to cope. I've never been all that comfortable talking about emotional issues that I have because my natural assumption is that everyone else has their own issues and explaining mine wouldn't help.

But i don't know if i should carry on at all. I hate myself, I'm in a student house where a fair chunk of people hate me and I don't know why, most of my actual friends are on the other side of the island, I'm failing my course but I just can't find the motivation to keep going on with it.

I've been told by people that I can retake the year, or get help from student councillers, but that requires....being weak? Admitting fault? I don't know how else describe it, it's just kind of how it feels. I know I should go to the doctor, but I feel that would almost be dishonest. I mean I should be able to do this myself, and It's my fault that I can't. But being unable to work...or not get out of bed...or eat...is getting in the way of my education.

I don't know what I should do anymore.