I woke up feeling incredibly uneasy. There was a very brief moment of derealisation which I managed to calm down by reminding myself that it was just my thoughts and not reality.

Then around lunch time I went into full panic mode. It was absolutely horrible. I felt like I had to go to the hospital RIGHT THAT SECOND because something was wrong with me. I don't know what. But something was def wrong.

Then the feelings of fear and worry started which escalated into full-blown crying on the couch for no apparent reason. I've been in some pretty messed up situations when I was younger but nothing felt similar to that fear. It didn't even have some sort of starting point. It just consumed me.

The hyperventilating happened after that and I couldn't sit still as well. I almost chewed off a nail because I had to do something. Anything to drag my mind off of that jittery, shaky feeling.

At the same time I had about twenty tabs open regarding panic attacks and how to stop it along with numbers for emergency lines/helplines/doctor. I like to be super prepared for anything with regards to my mental health.

I mean, I suffer from anxiety (used to be agrophobia too) and depression. I've had anxiety attacks in the stupidest places and over the most ridiculous reasons but this was just ... scary as hell.

I still feel really uneasy but I managed to eat some toast. So I have that going for me. I also cried a lot in the bathroom so I guess that is good as well? As opposed to keeping it all inside.

Please tell me ya'll suffer like this as well and that the uneasiness goes away after a while. Having anxiety is like a walk in the park compared to this stuff.