All I can do is lay in bed. Freaking if a bat bit me. Took the trash out walking back felt something hit my side. Went to ER they didn’t see anything, no pain.

But my brain convinced me it was a bat and not a bug that hit me. Also doesn’t help there’s a spot on my shoulder, no pain she said it looks like a scab that fell off.

I can’t do this anymore. Every year I’m convinced by sheer horrid luck I’m gonna dxe because I’m cxrsed. When I’m in a happy mood something brings me down.

Also just constantly googling and googling.

I’m not ready to go, but I have to tell myself there are those that dxe younger. It in a grim way comforts me but not exactly. I want to start my life.