I feel so guilty atm. Im unemployed (have a job for my campus technically but its only 8-10 hrs a week) and in college and im trying to be more proud of myself and see myself as competent and not a stupid kid but im having trouble.

But there is a problem, my brain has a new excuse it has cooked up a new excuse on why this cant be the case. So since i still rely on my parents financially, i live at home when im not on campus, dont need to pay rent, and they pay half my college fees. I get food, video games and pay 125 dollars a month for car insurence and that is about it.

Im an anxious person who is not sure of themself, if i didnt have my family's help im not sure i would have made it or would be going anywhere. Basically i feel like a kid still and i dont know how to be a "true" adult despite turning 21 in a few months. All my mental struggles and trials seem stupid and not important, some of my peers are already employed and supporting themselves, they dont need anyone else and dont owe anyone anything.

I also was told in a class last semseter the biggest predictor of success in college is socioeconomic standing, which definetly gives my fears validation. Overall im conflicted, idk how to feel competent while being a little unsure of myself and relying on my parents, i dont think id even go to college if they didnt help me pay for it, honestly. That fact makes me feel spineless and have no resolve too