I've felt terrible this whole week. There's been a sense of longing, missing, dread, anxiety, and nausea in my stomach. This week was especially illuminating for reasons that are irrelevant but basically it left me feeling extra lonely.

The only thing I can think to relieve it lies in my extroversion. I love having people that I love around. But in my mental health journey I decided to leave (some of) the people and the community I've historically tried to find this peace in. They were hurting more than they were helping. I've always had someone I could text throughout the day or a place to come back to full of familiar people. I left when I realized they were comforting out of familiarity and not actual love like these things should be.

But now that I've left, for the better, Im left with a hole. I didn't realize but I've been subconsciously trying to fill this hole through different vices for a few months now. Right now I think Im looking for love. But at the end of the day will a person to love be enough? Right now Im just looking for someone, anyone to love. But that wont fill the hole. What am I supposed to be looking for? Inner peace???

So I guess what Im asking is what do you do guys do to fill the hole. Or how do you get comfortable with it. Or how to do you get rid of it. I think the most realistic question is, tell me about your own experience with this. I'd love to hear any and every opinion.