My bf is going out with some friends tonight and I was too scared to ask if I could come along. Normally I would but recently he said he wanted some space so it doesn’t feel right asking him if I can tag along places anymore. He’ll always say yes just to be nice.

Then my friends call asking if we want to hang out with them and I’m like bf is already going out. At this point I freak out. Urgent social interaction and I would have to ask bf for a ride. No I don’t want to bother him.

I feel stupid that I wanted to go out so bad. But when I was offered another chance to go out I declined because I was too scared of everything.

I was too scared to ask to go with him

I was to scared to ask for a ride

I was too scared to go to an unplanned social event

Tomorrow I have a planned social event and now I feel so insecure. It just feels like a cycle. Why can’t I just do these things?

EDIT: next day and I found out he got a ride for once since he’s always DD so I couldn’t have asked for a ride anyway.

If I had asked for a ride I think it would have been worse because he would have felt pressured to drive me which again would not be great since he asked for space a while back.

I was feeling like the call was a sign to go out and I didn’t. So I was feeling down on myself for choosing to miss out. But now that I know I probably could not have gotten a ride anyway somehow I feel better lmao

Weird how that works isn’t it