I’ve always read/heard that if you think you are crazy, you probably aren’t because crazy people don’t know their crazy.

At what point do you go from having a bad anxiety day to feeling like you are so overwhelmed you are about to lose your mind to ACTUALLY losing your mind?

I know I need to start therapy, but the cost is prohibitive, even with insurance. I’m also emotionally & mentally resistant, feel like if I start, I won’t actually be able to articulate what is going on. If I do therapy, I want to do written or text. But it’s such a process, I don’t know if the process would happen fast enough not to end up in a straight jacket.

I’ve had mild social anxiety & intermittent anger/explosive (self diagnosed), along with misophonia (again self diagnosed) for years. I take Xanax which helps but I hate to take it preventatively except for night anxiety. By the time I take it, I’m already elbow deep. Chest pain, unable to take full breaths, what I imagine panic attacks would feel like. I’ve only ever had one or two full blown ones but I had someone to talk me down.

Sorry, I know I unpacked a lot right there. I just feel like I’m spiraling. It worsened after my 2nd C vax & has just gotten worse & worse. This was September 2021. I’ve read that other people’s anxiety issues escalated after being vaccinated. Before, I felt like I could manage/cope with it better. Now once I start down that rabbit hole, just taking a 15 minute break isn’t enough. There are days I wake up so anxious I take the whole day.

My job gave me an ADA accommodation of 8 hours per month of unpaid leave & 2 unpaid 15” breaks. I’ve asked my sup if a modification can be made, or if the whole 8 hours has to be used at once or can I split it up as needed. No answer yet.