I made this fatal mistake not too many years ago and my life is currently in shambles. I haven't so much as a modicum of clue as to how it possibly could have been worth giving away my personhood. I am infantalized all the time with all of my actions being monitored while they stay completely oblivious that my not being accorded some space of my own only exacerbates my moody demeanour. What is worse is how often my criticisms are pathologized. Only today I was refusing to cooperate to protest against my boundaries being breached yet again and their response was a solemn "you would have to be a seriously ill in the head to act this way" <paraphrased> and a threat to ship me off to the psych ward yet again. The latter is just utterly astonishing because I was involuntarily admitted into a ward by these very same people and they witnessed my having a breakdown. They had the nurses forcefully sedate me using an injection all the while being completely ignorant of the fact that it was the PSYCH WARD and my being put there AGAINST my wishes that was making me feel that way.

I don't even feel like a fucking person anymore. I regret opening up and seeking help so fucking bad. It's legitimately made things ten times worse. And this is saying nothing of the detrimental effect psychiatric meds have had on me, yet another thing I'm forced into by being threatened with being shipped off to the psych ward.

I'm 20 by the way. I understand that it's rather young and necessitates guidance from adults but at least treat me like a fucking PERSON! I feel like a fucking lab rat. Fuck this shit and fuck psychiatry and fuck the fact that no one is ever gonna be held accountable for traumatising me.