Not sure where to really start this...

i've been discharged and techincally "recovered" for 11 years this year.

Its been a massive 18 months of some crazy changes in my life which i've managed to deal with having a lack of control over etc.

Just yestrday signed over contracts for a new home, and everything has happened insanely quick.

and since last night invasive thoughts over my eating have become so so loud.

too the point i've only managed to eat a small amount in this time. the sickness that comes with it all is so overwhelming and even after all these years im really strugging to move past it all even with safety foods.

I know some people say its only been like 48 hours but in the last 11 years i've not felt this bad, its like an itch i cant control or sooth like all the last 11 years of having control have gone out the window and every bad thought i've had to do with my body, my image, my eating, my weight etc has flooded in.

I feel like I've failed and I'm scared.

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