Along with binge eating disorder, I suffer from anorexia. I haven't been anorexic in YEARS. I've mainly just been suffering with binge eating. A few days ago an event happened that put me in a lot of distress & caused me to lose my appetite for a few days. I lost a lot of weight because I was barely eating. After the dust settled after this event I will admit I let my anorexia extend me not eating for a day or two more(i'm actually still KINDA letting it reign over me).

I was craving some chips & candy at work today. I'm vegan so I have a very limited variety to choose from. I was planning on getting a big bag of twizzlers & some lays chips(i hate lays, but they're vegan & I wanted something salty/spicy, so 🤷‍♂️)

I ended up only getting grapes! And i got the smallest bag of grapes they had & I stopped eating them once my appetite for them was gone!

I want to make it clear grapes were not the only thing i ate all day. I actually was giving myself a pass to binge because I ate a lot more than what I've been typically eating lately.

It's hard to explain, but being vegan is still new to me, I'm trying to learn how my body reacts & is changing to a vegan diet. Im not expecting anything TOO drastic because I've already been Pescatarian for like 2 years before this & for a couple weeks before going full vegan I cut all dairy out of my diet. Like I heard some vegans talk about how they can eat a bowl of oatmeal & be good for a whole day.

But basically I know this sounds anorexic af, but I just had like some vegetables for lunch. I didn't know if it would keep me full for the rest of the day or not. i ended up getting hungry like an hour later, so I brought these plant based pretzels filled with peanut butter. I've brought them before & they are very filling.

These peanut butter pretzels & the vegetables I ate earlier, made me believe I messed up today & I should binge. That brings us back to the start of this post(sorry a little disorganized, I should have started with this).

Please don't be to harsh or judgemental about my anorexia. I feel worse about being anorexic than I do binge eating, because the feeling of denying your body nutrients it needs is horrible. And as skinny as I have gotten, i like how I look BUT i worry it may be a cry for help from my body that it needs more food. I don't think i'm too skinny rn, but then again idk because I have body dismorphic disorder.

*** everything above was written in the binge eating sub. I just didn't think they would understand my struggles with anorexia & i was worried they'd be a little harsh. It's just late at night right now, and I'm alone & I don't want to be bombarded with comments about how bad being anorexic is for your body, I know it is. But i would just like some kind supportive words right now. I'm sad that at what I've done to my body over the past few days.