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I ate a lot today. My boyfriend commented on my “food baby” earlier which stung for a second but I didn’t let it bother me. Then my roommate was holding a bag of candy, I said “oooh is that chocolate” to which he jokingly said “no, you fat bitch”. I was JUST starting to eat things that make me happy again, and that gave me a huge urge to restrict. I’m not currently underweight but I’m at a very lw so to hear anyone, even jokingly, call me “fat” made me feel like I won’t be seen as “thin” unless I’m underweight.
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He does know about my ED. He was just being silly, and not thinking about his audience. A few moments after he made the comment, I guess I made a sour face, he apologized. It’s just the idea that anyone could see me that way that hurts. I’m still going to eat healthy meals today, but I’ll definitely be avoiding carbs so I don’t have a “food baby”. In my recovery, eating is comfortable for me, but the bloating REALLY freaks me out :(. Getting 2 comments about my bloating did reaffirmed my fears unfortunately.