I will try to keep it short.

I have had anger issues as a kid, all the way through adolescence and now as an adult I feel like it is taking over me. It is to a point where I will see red and I am willing to kill. I’m seeking help now because my girlfriend got hurt holding me back from an old man that made a racist comment towards me. There are other scenarios where I got self-destructive and did not care who got hurt. I don’t want to feel this way anymore, it actually scares me.

I have tried many things to keep it under control. I have tried breathing exercises, meditation, taking up new hobbies and physical exercises. They somehow make me angrier. Counselling is not an option since i can’t afford it, there is a government funded type of therapy, but there’s a 1-2 years waiting period.

Im hoping to find a solution or maybe a guide to start taking control.