I had a pregnancy loss a week ago. I struggled with blood levels, particularly ferritin for a few months prior. I had planned an abortion and on the day of, I found out baby had already passed. I was nervous and anxious the day of. I felt clammy. I was second guessing a lot and I chalked it up to that. When they were drawing blood at the clinic I passed out, was transferred, and ended up with an infection, d and c and two blood transfusions. My hemoglobin was at a 4 before the d and c. After that I felt really good. Tired and weak but mentally I felt good. (As good as you can after a pregnancy loss) Yesterday, I was having extreme anxiety, heart racing, sweating, jitters, but also exhaustion. I passed out. Ended up in the hospital. Another transfusion. I keep feeling like I'm going to die. There's no end in sight. Why does the low blood cause all that anxiety? It makes me think about my pregnancy and how painful going through this all alone has been. I even sometimes worry about things that were said/things I found out after ending the relationship. I second guess a lot. The anxiety and over thinking is so bad. But THEN after a transfusion and when my blood levels are "good" those things barely bother me. I mean, I wonder why he did what he did and I still feel hurt... but it doesn't consume me. I hate that the low blood levels have such a heavy impact on my mental health! I seriously don't have the mental space for worrying about that stuff and it's hellish. I feel like the universe is punishing me in the worst ways. It's that bad of a spiral when it happens. My doctor told me it's totally common to feel overly anxious and to have intrusive thoughts with levels as low as mine got. Especially with the recent pregnancy and the events surrounding the pregnancy. But why?!? Does anyone else experience this? It makes me feel crazy. I am in therapy. But even my therapist said blood volume has an impact on mental health. Has it happened to others? I feel like people are being kind, too kind. Because it really makes me feel nuts.

Yesterday I was 0 ferritin and 5.3 hemoglobin. I have a headache, but that seems to be daily now. They ran more tests to figure out where the blood is going/where I'm losing blood from. I have a family history of blood disorders. Lots of things have been mentioned including hysterectomy, crohns, and even leukemia because of the amount of petechiae I have spreading. Has anyone else experienced the wild emotions or the petechiae rash?