Hi everyone,

I've been a lurker on this forum for a while and never intended to post anything. But I've had a question for a while now; a shoutout for people who are in the same boat as me and possibly have advice for me. That's why I created an account specifically to post my somewhat embarrassing question here.

Perhaps I have come to the completely wrong address, sorry in that case, and then you should definitely report it or delete this post. Sorry in advance for a somewhat long story and for my non-native English, I'll do my best. Well; here we go I guess:

I am a woman, 24 and have been in a relationship with a sweet boyfriend for four years. Our sex life has actually been bad from the start of our relationship. That's not my boyfriend's fault, because he does everything he can to please me. But it's my own; as I have unfortunately been diagnosed with vaginismus. In other words; hardly anything enters via the traditional route without extreme pains.

After four years of mainly oral sex and handwork, my boyfriend spoke up to me for his need for 'real' penetration. And I understand that very well. He suggested trying anal as this is a different muscle group and shouldn't present the same problem. Now, I never imagined myself having this type of sex, but after having anal sex this way twice now, I'm starting to get used to the idea. I notice that my boyfriend is happy that he can finally penetrate and I don't want to take this away from him. However, it wasn't really pleasant for me yet, and I wonder if this is due to my other problem or not.

Anyways; I am actually looking for other people in a relationship where vaginismus played a role and whether others have switched to anal sex for that same reason. I am very curious whether it was the solution for them, or whether I am now trying something that is in vain. Any other general advice is welcome too btw :)

Sorry for the long post. And thanks in advance for all responses, if any.