If you have the time please read and sorry for any spelling mistakes, i will answear polite and try my best to open up.

Im a 28M twink who has been jerking off to monster cock porn since 15 and stretched toward that goal of being a sub for eighter bbc or wbc and have now bought my first chastity (cb6000s) to help me experience my first anal orgasm. have allways been a good guy who had a rough time at both school and home wich has left me with a depression and anxiety diagnose that i hope will get better now that im meeting my fears and instead of thinking im just doing. was never a masculine guy since i was the smallest guy in class and really never got any special attention from the girls until later and now they really like me more over them wich i think is a good thing but at my point in life right now i just want to experience some new things and see what will happen, still wanna have sex with girls just cant find anyone as dirty as i am at this point.

Have now quit masturbauting the old fashion way and get my self even bigger toys above 10x7 inches wich im really excited about! This last week i havent masturbated anything so i have experienced more energy, more horny, more frustrated and a bit of a tab less anxious about the fact i want to become a true sissy/sub wich i really get turned on about.

Im soon to be moving to a different part of the country wich is a big city and im from a small place out of town far away wich will make it easier to fullfill my fantasies, so i roamed fetlife and found a misstress in the town im moving to who is very into anal, sissyfication, cum and all the good stuff to make a true sub. she is looking forward to having me as her slave since non of her slaves can take big toys and fisting like i do, the fisting part wich is hard for me to do myself will now get a whole lot easier but it scares me to get into it with another human being but like she said to me at the beginning i have to own my slaves first made me feel a whole lot more calm about it.

what do you fell is the right thing for me to do? i fear this will change me as a person wich im pretty sure it will or maybe it only will get me to know myself better, i just dont want it to be going out over my work or anything in this region... all together it comes down to my brain asking all the time what it really feels like to have a bare cock in the monster regions feels like and from what i hear and have gotten answeared from people i have spoken too it is absolutely f-ing worth it and what the future could bring so pleeease give me some of your advice and stories of your own that are in the same region as me cause im still young and have my whole lfie ahead of me! Thanks, cheers and have a good one everybody! Hope to hear from you.