Venting

6 years ago I ate a large amount of popcorn at a theater - I thought my two friends would eat it with me, but they both declined, and I just spaced out watching whatever Despicable Me movie that was out, munching mindlessly the whole 2 hrs or whatever.

About 3 days later there were large drops of blood coming from me. I immediately went to my doctor about it, mentioning I suspected the popcorn, and he sent me for a colonoscopy. I was diagnosed with internal hemorrhoids and felt relieved.

For the following 3 years I repeatedly went back to my doctor, explaining the splay of blood with every shit, which turned into blood even if I wasn't having a BM, and then randomly bleeding through clothes at work. He sent me to get banding - didn't work. "Water and fiber" was said to me so many times - no wonder I almost snapped today.

My doctor said, "I don't want to send you to any surgeons down here, " after my 2nd colonoscopy showed grade 4 at that point. So, I saw a guy an hour away. He wanted to do his own colonoscopy... understandable, but sheesh, 3 colonoscopies in less than 5 years! He banded during it - which fell off into the toilet there at the colonoscopy place. He said, "Come back in 2 weeks and I'll band them again." Well, he couldn't because I was crying. He then seemed to get mad at me and YELLED, "You have a fissure. Come back in 8 weeks." No treatment for it, no little thought in his head that maybe that's what it was this whole fucking time anyway...

I ended up going to the ER a few months later, which referred me to a colorectal surgeon. He was an asshole. I told him I wanted the hemerroidectomy. He said he would IF he found no fissure. I said I would like both. He said, nah, trust me, it's horrible afterwards. I'm already shitting myself, bleeding profusely constantly, and literally unable to work - trust me, I just want it all done. Didn't fucking listen, even day of surgery, I was once again yelled at by a fucking doctor. I said fine, do what you think is best...

After the surgery, at the followup, this mother fucker said, "You were right, you definitely qualify for a hemerroidectomy, but I didn't want to do that without trying just the botox first." Bitch. I work minimum wage and CANNOT afford to miss more work this year -_- whatever.

So, today, I get a NEW primary to ask for a NEW colorectal surgeon and this lady - and I honestly think if it was a man I would've had a worse time - literally tried to challenge me on if I even needed a surgeon. "Water and fiber" - I was grinding my teeth. I was like, "Considering I had a surgery that didn't work and there's a more serious one I need at this point, plus my SHITTY doctor ADMITTING I DO need a hemerroidectomy ---- YEAH I THINK I NEED A NEW SURGEON."

And her last question, guys, hahaha, her last question was, "Well have you tried sitz baths?"

Deep sigh. I just. My fucking god.