I have also read about citizenship options in Ghana. The LGBTQ issue is a major concern. Again...with five kids, we need to plan for contingencies for a safe future for all of them.

I may have misunderstood what I read, but the golden passport situation in Brazil was too expensive for us.

Agreed. I think it would be enormously exploitive of us to claim our citizenship without at least also learning the language. Similarly, I think we have some ethical obligations to invest at least a little (economically, socially and politically) in Italy whether we live there or not.

Right, Italy is out. But there are many other EU countries in which we could work or live with Italian passports. I'm interested in learning more about those options, of a case for abandoning those options in favor of North/Central/South America.

We aren't religious, so I don't think missionary work is a good path for us.

I'll look for this! Thanks for the rec.

This is so helpful. I really appreciate all the time and detail you dedicated to addressing several points if my question; thank you.

So, we receive a monthly stipend of $3000 USD outside of our jobs for life, and that will continue when we move. I work remotely for a US based nonprofit making $56000 USD, and it's possible I could be converted to a 1099 and keep my job. My husband will for sure have to find a new job. Hopefully between that and selling out house we will have a stable-ish beginning.

We've been really struck by the challenge that the urban centers will be more open to the racial makeup of our family, but rural towns will be more open and accessible to the to the size of our family. It's a puzzle.

I think if we are going to claim this Italian ancestry (and citizenship) it's the right thing to do to learn the language, or at least the fundamentals. I also agree that we should learn the language of the country we emigrate to. Due to the region of the US we live in, we all have some familiarity with Spanish (though probably not in any way that would be helpful in Europe, lol). And I was fluent in French until I stopped using it in the last ten years. My hope, perhaps naively, is that if we do the work and hire tutors we can pick up the languages we need.

Absolutely--thanks! And good luck in your search as well.

This is really helpful. Thank you! We aren't looking at the UK specifically, but this certainly helps me adjust my expectations and calibrate what special education looks like outside the United States.

I really appreciate the trouble you've gone to on this thread to be a resource.

Flattering, right?

Not sure if it's more insulting for my family or Germans. Talk about stereotyping and prejudice!

This is really compelling information for the Not France column. My kids are a sibling group adopted from foster care, and two of them have disabilities that can make school a little more challenging as it is. France sounds terrible for them.

It's really interesting that you characterized my family as loud and high potential for conflict.

ADDING: thanks for the tip on Catholic countries. I'll look into it.

I love every bit of this advice. Thank you! Yes--learning Italian is more of a personal expectation (obligation?) I've made for myself and a long-term goal for my kids. Learning the language of the country we emigrate to takes primacy. If we settle on an English speaking country, like Ireland, or on Italy itself, then we will give quite a bit of attention to learning Italian.

We are budgeting for a family language tutor the run-up to our move. I know that won't get us very far, but even if we just have a few building blocks of the language down prior to arriving, it's something to begin with, and we can use local language classes and resources to continue.

I'll check with our library for the program you recommend.

I appreciate your input--i was curious for information on France. I can speak some French (I could speak it conversationally once upon a time). I had heard that France was pretty anti-immigration with some concerning trends in politics though.

Good insight, thanks! Space is a concern. Right now we have three kids in one room and two in another. I don't think sharing is a the issue--moreso space in family areas. We do most of our living in our common spaces-- living room, dining room and kitchen. We also spend a LOT of time outside biking, gardening and swimming.

I appreciate your input a lot! Any observations on family size?

There's no viable path to residency or citizenship for us in Brazil, sadly.

IEPs are enormously convoluted and require a mountain of parental advocacy for what's often just mediocre interventions. Yay. I'm really good at navigating them.

Hands down, my kids have benefitted most in their education from having access to trauma-informed teachers and aids at school.

Access to trauma informed services, like counseling and psychiatric care as well as a general environment that embraces mental health (including in schools) is the most important thing my children need after physical safety (which is what I'm trying to address here with questions about race and LGBTQ acceptance). It's an issue I planned to drill down into once we made our short list of countries/regions/cities.

We can learn the language. We can learn, respect and (attempt) assimilation to a new culture. We can do hard things. We can't be well in a culture that doesn't care about wellness.

Wow. You have been SO helpful, and I really appreciate all you've written here, especially the details on the situation with the Vatican and Parliament as well as the general landscape of LGBTQ rights. Thank you so much for your time and effort on this!

I really appreciate this detailed breakdown--thanks! Just for a point of reference for more research--what's a medium sized city in Italy? Like, I currently live in a US "medium sized city" of about 1.5 million.

Any additional thoughts on life for LGBTQ people in Italy? It's my understanding that Italy isn't very accepting, and there aren't many protections there for them. We are pretty confident at least one of our children will be gay, and we don't want to raise them someplace they'll ultimately feel unwelcome.