I (2M SIC) make the absolute best biscuits in the world. My mommy often says I’m “too smart for my own good”. I’m sure I would be a master chef given the chance, but mommy keeps the kitchen door closed when she goes on one of her daily hunting trips. I’ve talked about the pointless hunting trips here before. AITC for stopping my mommy from leaving .

One day she forgot to close the kitchen door, so while she was gone, I went in, jumped on the counters and found half a bag of yummy yummy flavored MSG! As a Chinese dragon li cat, I’m really excited to embrace my culture and start my star chef career, so I picked up the bag and carried it back to my nest in the bedroom. Finally I can season my food the way I like it!

I tried licking some of the MSG and to my surprise, it tastes like ass. No, actually it’s worse than ass, because licking my ass is better than this. How can something that smells so heavenly taste so bad? I don’t understand! I’m starting to regret my career decisions. My biscuits are still amazing, but I’m not sure this MSG is what I want in them.

Then I noticed that I left a trail of MSG all the way down the hall from the kitchen to the bedroom. So I tried to do what the humans call “clean up”. There was a six-pack of tissues in the living room, so I dragged it over to help clean up. The whole thing was bigger than me, I huffed and puffed, and I finally managed to drag it into the bedroom, but it got caught on the table leg so I couldn’t get it any further. I also found out the packs of tissues are wrapped in a plastic bag, and I couldn’t get it open despite chewing and clawing. So I gave up and waited for mommy to come home.

Mommy came home and said I am the cloaca because she has to clean up the MSG all over the floor and in my nest. I watched with my head hung in shame as she cleaned up the trail of delicious-smelling, but terrible tasting white powder.

But I still think it wasn’t a bad try for a first time chef! So AITC for embracing my culinary heritage and cooking my own food?

Here’s a video of me making biscuits