Hello, I am Rocky, 8M doggo boss of everything. I make the rules. I live with several morons who does not know rules: my favorite human, 2 other humans, dog invader Pepper, and 2 horrible invaders called CATS named Butterscotch and Smarty Pants. I know best so I try to keep everyone else in line.

This morning, I wanted to go outside. Now, dogs is not supposed to get wet. Pepper is stupid and doesn’t know this and plays in water but I know the truth. But today, when I wake up and human try to take me outside, water is falling from the sky. Now, I am not stupid, I know this is called “rain,” and happens outside sometimes, but it is NOT supposed to happen when I need to go outside. This is UNACCEPTABLE.

I become angry and demand loudly for someone to stop rain, but no one listens. I bark at favorite human, other humans, even invaders Pepper, Butterscotch, and Smarty Pants. But all ignore! Human laugh and call me “silly.” I am NOT SILLY! No one here take me seriously and it makes me mad. They just tell me to stop yelling and say they don’t control rain. But if no one here control rain, WHO IS ALLOWING THIS INJUSTICE TO HAPPEN?

I think am not cloaca because am just trying to tell everyone how it is supposed to be. But maybe I cloaca because human say she is “getting ready for work and doesn’t have time for this.” So, Reddit, AITC?