I'm (24 TM) autistic & my mom didn't get me help - if I struggled, I would "catch up". At 6 I started having meltdowns & she screamed & threatened me - shove her fist down my throat, smash my head into the wall until my skull cracked, etc. She accused me of making her angry so she would have a heart attack & die.

She used food as control & used to buy lots of snacks & desserts for my sister but nothing for me because we "couldn't afford it." She screamed if I ordered something too expensive for dinner, took my plate away when she decided I had enough & counted the snacks at home punished me if any were missing - I struggled with eating disorders & only just started addressing it. My sister (27) could do no wrong & was what my mom wanted. I've been hospitalized a few times for SI & my mom favored her for having it together. She got all As in school & swears I was never abused & that I'm the problem in my family. My dad is checked out & says I was never abused because my mom never hit me. He is devoted & obedient. She's cheating on him.

A year ago, I was on a serious down spiral but I met some people that became my chosen family - some local musicians with hearts of gold. I'm a religious guy, attend a queer church & believe God put them in my life. Enter my now adopted dad, Andrew. My parents quit parenting at 16 & Andrew saw this & took me on like I was his son. He does very well & is a childless millennial who wanted to be a dad. He pays my tuition - I'm in grad school for Music Therapy. He's a huge part of my support system - always tells me to be kind to myself, helps me maintain my mental health, empowers my independence, encourages me to do things that will better myself/my career, offers lots of affection when I need a hug or comfort - he's constantly there for me. He works with kids with autism as a music therapist & helps me learn to handle sensory problems. He's the first person to make me feel like I have a parent that loves me.

I came out as trans in Oct '23. I started taking hormones in Jan '24, & I'll be getting top in May. This was the last straw for my mom & I was kicked out in August. My mental health was already really improving but when I moved in with Andrew I was stupidly surprised at the huge step up my mental health took. In September my sister & her best friends asked me to dinner & cornered me about my mom & how it's not right that I don't speak to her. I said I didn't want a relationship with her & they demanded valid reasons $ that I was never Abused, I'm the cause of all the problems & I'm a jerk for distancing myself from my mom. I stormed out. My sister texted me that she's tired of making excuses for me as I destroy our family. That was it. I texted my dad I wanted nothing to do with any of them & blocked their numbers, my entire family on socials, all my sisters friends & anyone who could be used to contact me. I'm so happy since then, but I can't help but wonder if I'm selfish. Am I the buttface?