So, I've posted this before on a different sr, after going down a reddit rabbit hole, but now I feel like this might be the best sr to ask this question.

I used to work restaurant for many many years. When I worked there, it was not uncommon for me to treat my fellow coworkers to a little treat.. maybe some ice cream snicker bars, maybe some smoothies; I always did this out of my own pocket. Well fast forward years later, I work an awesome travel job, as such, many a restaurants are visited. I almost always treat a wait staff if I happen to know an employee (usually when I'm home), but sometimes will also treat a restaurant staff I don't know.

Now here's where there's some disagreement. I generally hand out said snicker bar or whatever to everyone individually (whether male or female), both wait staff and kitchen. I do this for 2 main reasons: 1). Having worked in it, I know how it is, and 2). If I come back to a restaurant, I would hope they remember the gesture and that I get awesome service. Even if that doesn't happen, I just brush it off, as they don't really owe me anything, but getting awesome service is nice.

Buuuuttttt..... This other SR seemed to disagree. At one restaurant, I overheard one waitress say it was weird. The other SR seemed to agree. Mind you, I'm not asking anyone out, not asking for numbers, not asking for anyone to get in my van. I just do a nice gesture, and maybe I'll come back on a later date if the food was good.

One detail here that may help... is that in the chaos that ensued, many redditing wait staff shared that it isn't their job to talk to customers. Now, while that isn't my end goal, that sparked a bit of controversy; because as having worked in restaurant all those years, I can say without a doubt, it's literally the first thing on the job description of any sit-down chain restaurant. I think where the confusion was, was that many thought I was expecting this one particular girl to talk to me... which was not the case. I consider a nice conversation as a result a bonus, not the expectation; but I may have confused people by arguing that it 100% their job to talk to customers; and I was baffled how so many restaurant staff said it isn't their job to talk to customers.

For those who curious... I want to say that the said waitress in question initially declined my offer, and then had the bartender get it for her instead.... so she wanted the candy, she just didn't want to interact with me. But at the same time, I gave one to everyone else at the restaurant, and with the exception of the bartender who was waiting on me, I didn't stop to chat with anyone else.

Sorry for the long story, but AITB?