Hey all! Ever since I moved in with my girlfriend turned wife (yay) I've made it a big deal to celebrate her birthday. She hadn't had one celebrated for more than half her life so I take that week and set it aside as more of a "I appreciate you" week where I spoil her. I show appreciation through the year but her birthday week especially. In the past six years we've been together she hasn't put any effort into planning a party for me. I dont count 2021 since nobody was vaccinated yet. I don't want presents, but I'd like to have a night with the rest of the family to relax and have fun. It'd be nice to be celebrated or appreciated. Tonight it came to a boiling point for her. She got over a super mild case of covid (thank god) and tested negative on Sunday. Over the past few weeks a fair amount in our family tested positive. We were the last ones and everyone has bounced back. She brought up going out of town for my birthday as an alternative after putting the baby back down and was really off. I told her that I didn't want to spend that much money and all I wanted was time with the immediate family and my side. Her side lives a few hours away so I'm not gonna make them drive. I told her that we didn't need to plan anything since we haven't celebrated my birthday in awhile. (The last time we tried we sat around a table awkwardly with my grandparents in a physical rehab center with a veggie tray I brought and she never showed up). I kept being told that this year was different and she would plan the get together. Here's where I may be the buttface. At this point I don't feel like I can rely on her to plan any parties and I'm just going to plan next year's. Would I be the buttface if I explained why and followed through with planning my own party?