Growing up my father was not in my life, until I became old enough to try to connect with him on my own (age 24ish). Even then it was always me calling and checking on him. He would call me sometimes when he remembered he has a daughter.

Before he passed I flew out to see him ( told him way in advance I was coming and gave him constant reminders) when I got to town he was MIA. That broke my heart. I know he battled with drugs but I still loved him and was very hurt that he wouldn’t see me his only child.

He passed away 3 months later. When I attended his funeral my aunts was acting hella mean, had attitude towards me. Barely talking to me. ( I was about 30 years old ) I found out they was mad bc I smelled like weed at the funeral. Everyone in my family smoke weed so that really had me confused on why they was mad at me for using weed to help me cope with loosing my father. I also think it was because I didn’t help pay for the funeral is the reason why they had attitude and didn’t let me have the ashes.

Fast forward —> 5 years later my aunt past last month and was cremated. So now all of a sudden my family wants to scatter his and her ashes in October. ( my birthday month)

I told them I can’t make it. After 5 years y’all decided to scatter his ashes and didn’t even ask me if I wanted them or a keep sake of his ashes or whatever.

I refuse to go out there and be miserable or hv them treat any kind of way for whatever reason. I barely know them like that.

So am I the asshole bc I don’t want to attend the scattering of my fathers ashes?